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stand out?  There’s only one thing to do.  Be yourself!  It’s sounds easier than it is, but the best advice for creating a great profile is to represent yourself honestly. You can’t possibly be someone you’re not, so don’t even try.  Don’t attempt to second guess what you think people are looking for, because the truth is, there is someone out there who is looking for someone exactly like you!

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Don’t try so hard; just be yourself.  Sometimes that is easier said than done, since it’s difficult to sum up who you are in a paragraph or two.  That’s why you need to take time to construct this profile carefully.  Let your writing have a free-flowing and conversational style.  Write the way you speak.  This will give your profile a friendly, informal feel to it and you will be presenting yourself in a much more approachable way, rather than sounding formal and stuffy and uptight.

 

If you happen to be quirky and unique, then don’t use these words, but show in your writing what an individual you are.  Don’t go overboard; always remember to stay as honest as possible.  Again, don’t try to be someone you’re not, and don’t say you enjoy doing certain activities if you don’t enjoy them just because you think it will attract a certain type of person.  What if you do attract a triathlete?  What then?  As soon as he finds out you have no interest in the sport and you’ve never been on a bicycle in your life, how do you suppose that relationship will end?  It will never get started.  You want to attract someone you are compatible with and who you will feel comfortable sharing aspects of your life.  So be honest. Honesty is the number one most important aspect to writing a great profile.

 

Honesty also applies to your profile picture.  Don’t mislead your potential dates by posting a photograph that is ten years old.  Or five years old for that matter.  If you have to take the time to take a new, current photo, then do so.  Wear something attractive.  Have an inviting background, and make sure your smile is authentic and not fake.  You will attract people to your profile if you are optimistic, positive and honest.  Don’t try to be sultry and provocative in your photo if that’s not who you are.  You will be uncomfortable and the camera will pick that up.  Have someone you trust and feel confident with take your new profile photo.  Your happiness will be reflected and a happy person is the type of person most people want to be around.  A current, smiling photo speaks volumes.

 

Finally, double-check the profile for spelling and grammatical errors before posting it.  You want to present yourself in a positive manner, so don’t be sloppy when it comes to your writing. Have one of your friends proofread the profile for you, just in case you missed anything.  All this care in constructing the best profile you can, will serve you well.  You will attract quality people and in turn find the best possible match from your dating website.

 

Photo via Charles Forbidden

 

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02May

Embracing the Differences between Men and Women on Dating Websites

I hate to state the obvious, but the truth is men and women are wired differently.  I know that comes as no surprise to many of you, but the fact is many people simply cannot figure out the opposite sex. Consequently, no matter how hard we try, and no matter how many books we read on the subject, it’s going to be nearly impossible to fully understand what your partner is thinking 100 percent of the time.  It’s impossible to know what anyone is thinking 100 percent of the time, but if you think you can get inside your man’s head and figure out what’s going on in there, you’re going to be very disappointed. When using dating websites to meet others, keep in mind, that these differences can enhance and not hinder your new relationship.

 

So in order to avoid that disappointment, don’t even try to figure out what’s on his mind.  Analyzing every little thing your partner is doing or saying will be enough to drive you both to the loony bin.  If you want to know what your partner is thinking, ask him! Wow…what a concept, huh?  But communication is the number one element to making your relationship successful.  If you ask your partner what’s on his mind, and you’re afraid he won’t tell you the truth, then…uh-oh…that’s a red flag right there!  If there is no trust in this relationship, it’s time for you to move on.  You two will never make it, if you don’t believe in one another.

 

Obviously, two people can’t know what the other one is thinking 24/7.  You have to establish boundaries and trust.  Yeah, there are times when you’ll be in sync with one another and that feels fantastic. Isn’t it great when you start a sentence, and your partner finishes it?  I love when that happens.  But don’t expect it all the time.  And it’s okay if it doesn’t ever happen. The two of you should be independent enough to have your own thoughts.  Honestly, you don’t have to tell each other everything!

There is enough excitement when you start dating someone new; someone you truly like spending time with.  The wonderful thing about dating and clicking with a new partner is the mystery as the relationship evolves.  It’s like an ever-changing story and you get to watch it unfold.  It’s no fun if you know how the story ends.  That guy who said that men are from Mars and women are from Venus was telling the truth.  We are very different creatures from one another; but it’s those differences that make being together so incredibly enticing.

Photo via giuvax

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27Apr

Getting your Dating Website Partner to Trust You

All of us come with baggage and if you say you don’t have any, then you must be living under a rock.  It’s bound to happen and the older we get, the more we probably have.  It’s a matter of individual taste how to deal with that baggage.  Some of us carry it better than others.  Some of us are able to store it away and move forward.  If you are meeting potential partners on dating websites, the first order of business, after establishing contact of course, is to see if they are trustworthy enough for you to date them.  Obviously, they will want to know that you are someone who can be trusted as well.

If you are dating online, it’s a shame if you have to start out being paranoid and suspicious of everyone you meet.  That doesn’t have to be the case, but obviously you should listen to your gut instinct before dating anyone who may be sending up red flags.  And what about your own personal history?  Do you have anything to hide?  If you are interested in someone you have met on a dating website, and want to pursue some type of relationship with them, the two of you need to establish boundaries right from the start.  There is no need for any sort of interrogation between the two of you, and if neither one of you have nothing to hide, the “getting to know you” period should actually be fun.

Everyone has some type of skeleton in the closet and it isn’t necessary to disclose everything about yourself on the first date.  But if you meet someone who has had a shaky dating history, you might need to reassure him or her that you’re one of the good ones. Taking things slowly will help to win their trust as well as keeping the lines of communication between the two of you open and strong. It is hard in this day age of technology to be trusting of strangers, when we seem to be targets for scammers at every turn.  But never underestimate the power of your own common sense.  You can be aware without being paranoid.  And if you have nothing to hide, you shouldn’t have any problems connecting with a quality person, whether you meet them on a dating website or someplace else.

It is a shame that this discussion has to occur, but there are far too many stories out there that tell of people who have been burned.  Trust is something that needs to be earned.  No one can take it for granted anymore.  You and your date need to earn each other’s trust, and that is something that will develop through time and action. A person can and will establish trust though their behavior and actions. If you find yourself falling for an unscrupulous character, getting out of that relationship sooner rather than later will be the best thing for you to do.  And if someone accuses you of being untrustworthy and you’ve done nothing to deserve that title, it’s best to cut your losses as quickly as possible and move on.

 

Photo via LollyKnit

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25Apr

Clicking with your Dating Website Date

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